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​The Myth of Normalcy​

I love this entire essay by Maria Popova, but especially that first line. She's writing about Alain de Botton's the myth of normalcy in which he expounds upon a type of cultural tyranny whereby humans are conditioned to view life's possibilities through a very narrow lens. A lens that reduces the complexities of who we are. Instead of celebrating those complexities, we are often conditioned to see them as unique or abnormal. Our own turmoil and fears can't possibly be shared by others.

In other words, we contain multitudes and are blessed by our myriad of contradictions. Unfortunately that's not the reality that's shined back at us through social media and societal ideals of what it means to succeed in life.

As a result, we artificially narrow ourselves and our options. The former happens in how much or how little we reveal of our inner world to others, which then impacts how much or how little is revealed to us.

And from Van Gogh, writing to his brother Theo:

We can't contend with the cultural tyranny per se, but we can do a service by sharing more of our inner world with those around us, especially with those keen to get a better view inside. By doing so we also allow others greater permission to reciprocate.

For most of my life, I kept a pretty closed lid on things. I fell prey to a lot of what de Botton describes. In recent years though I've made big strides. Therapy has helped, and so has coaching and writing. Asking others to be vulnerable and work through their own personal and professional obstacles can act like a mirror on my own closely kept complexities. It's also a matter of integrity. I better be willing to challenge myself in similar ways that I ask clients to. Writing helps to pierce the surface of those complexities and explore multiple layers below. The kind of excavation that, in my experience, builds greater self-awareness and compassion.

Sharing more of my inner world (feelings, fears, ambitions) has greatly improved my personal relationships and my professional pursuits. I also consider it ongoing work. New challenges emerge that remind of how it doesn't get easier to share, but when I do I'm reminded of its necessity.

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In true Marginalian fashion, you can pair this post with one I wrote last year about Parul Seghal's essay, The Tyranny of the Tale.

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Next Sunday

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